It's for real, y'all.
(I purposefully cropped off the school name, for privacy reasons...)
She's gone from 7:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.
A daily folder that needs checking every night.
Class rules and consequences.
Show and Tell.
Aubrey had a phenomenal first week, despite not getting sent home on the bus the first day.
Then at the end of the second week, things took an unexpected / out-of-nowhere turn.
Tears started flowing.
Caught a nasty cold.
Not wanting to ride the bus.
"My belly hurts..."
For awhile, I wasn't sure we were going to make it.
Daniel even almost uttered the "H" word. (Homeschool)
But now we're on Week Three, and we're persevering.
The tears are not nearly as frequent, even though some days they're right at the surface.
Trying to decipher exactly what caused this emotional shift, Daniel and I had been asking her some questions. We started noting reoccurring comments she was making such as, "What if it gets too hard?" and "What if I don't get everything right?"
Less than a month into the school-year, and we're already seeing the intense need for perfection.
That deep, dark fear of failure hissing in her ear.
She's her mother's child, and I know those insecurities all too well.
We talked to her about how it's okay to make mistakes.
How we're all human and there will be days we fail at things.
There's only ONE person who walked perfectly on this earth.
Sheesh, kindergarten may end up teaching me more than my 5-year-old, now that I think about it.
After reminding her of her life verse:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
Lean not on your own understanding,
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will direct your path.
And Daniel playing this song for her before getting on the bus, things have been getting notably better.
(the song is at the end of the post, too)
I'm seeing more of a peace in her.
Regardless of any morning anxiety that might creep up, Aubrey is always in a great mood when she gets home. Mina and I are always perched (literally) outside waiting for her.
I absolutely love seeing Aubrey's sweet face come bounding off the bus in the afternoon.
We sit in the breakfast room with a snack, and I get a recap of all the playground scoop, cafeteria conversations, and classroom drama...
"I think my friend Hope on the bus is in about third grade or something."
"What makes you think that?"
"She has, like, seven grown-up teeth. That's how you can tell how old someone is in Elementary School..."
"I really need to learn how to tie my shoes! If I do, I get a really cool pencil. It has a flat tip, and that makes me want to sharpen it SO bad." (Sidenote: She can tie her shoes now! Two different ways. I'm just a smidge proud.)
"A boy in my class got put on ORANGE today. If he messed up two more times, he would have to go to the GOLD room. It sounds like it would be awesome, but it's the worst room. You're all by yourself with a really mean teacher. Oh, and there's a TV in there, but it doesn't work. It's just there to make you want to watch it. It's like a torture room or something." (A TV that you can't watch?! Oh the horror! And to think the rumor when I was in elementary school was the electric paddle in the principal's office! haha!)
"The other Aubrey in my class can fix hair. Seriously, Mom. She put Maria's hair in a ponytail today after gym. Can you believe that?! Fixing hair as a kindergartener?! She must be really smart..."
Oh, how I love being on the receiving end of these daily animated chats.
Or how two boys in the cafeteria shoved their sandwiches in her face and chanted, "EAT IT! EAT IT!"
Or how another girl in the class always steals her crayons.
But I know that's all just part of it.
You're so quirky, hard, emotional, and wonderful.
And I'm totally blaming my newly discovered gray hairs on you.
Oh, and on this little munchkin who just started Preschool two mornings a week.
Heaven help me...
(Song mentioned earlier in the post)